He sat in contemplation; he felt like his world was slowly falling apart. He was scared, scared of losing her, but sitting there torturing himself wasn’t doing him any good, wasn’t doing his daughters any good, wasn’t doing the world any good.
His thoughts had been hanging out in the past, bringing him nothing but pain. When he tried to turn his thoughts towards the future, he began to get anxious, anxious because she might not be there. The weight of it all was pressing down on top of him; he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was going to die. And then, something strange happened.
The room became eerily silent, his vision became blurred. He was falling. And then, he heard a voice.
“I know you’re hurt. I know you’re scared. The past and the future bring you nothing but pain and uncertainty, but they are only a story, only an illusion. They aren’t real. What’s real is now. What’s real is the story you tell yourself, the story you write for the past, the present, and the future.”
He sat there letting the words sink in, letting them permeate his soul. The voice was right, he was in control and it was up to him to do something about it. He didn’t believe in accidents, in happenstance. He believed in purpose, in design. The experiences in his life weren’t happening to him. He was HAPPENING to them!
“So,” the voice continued, “what are you going to do?”
He relaxed his mind, allowing the question to echo throughout his soul. And with his next thought: plan for the worst, hope for the best; his manifesto began.
First, he started with the easy part: hoping for the best. All he had to do was keep a small amount of hope in his heart lit for her, like a candle flame and protect it from getting blown out. Just let it sit there and gently burn. If there came a time that things started to shift with the possibility of a new relationship, then he could use that flame to start a fire, a fire so big it would make the gods envious. A small candle flame; keep it lit, that was the easy part.
Next, came the hard part: plan for the worst – she’s NEVER coming back. The very thought of it brought him to his knees. The pain was excruciating, but instead of running away from it, he sat with it; he stayed with it until it lost its grip on him. It wasn’t easy, it was hard, fucking hard, but he did it. And once the pain subsided, clarity took its place. He understood if she never came back, then it wasn’t meant to be.
“So, if it wasn’t meant to be, then what?” the voice asked.
He sat there and thought about it, thought about his entire life up to that point. He knew deep down that if it wasn’t meant to be, then the Universe would send him his true love, his soul mate.
The voice in his head was reading his thoughts, “Do you really believe that?”
“Yes. Yes, I do,” he answered the voice. “I went through a similar situation before. I told the Universe that if it wasn’t meant to be, then to send me my someone, and She did. So, if it can happen once, it can happen again. It’s the law of the Universe, the law of Love.”
“So, what are you going to do now?” asked the voice.
“Now, I begin from within. I start working on me, on being the best version of myself. First, I’ll start with the superficial; getting into the best shape of my life, taking care of my body, the outside. But it’s the inside where I’ll change the most; it’s the inside that will attract my someone.”
“My soul will be vibrating at such a high frequency that people will want to be around me, they will want to get to know me. Then, once they get to know me, they are blown away by what’s inside. They’ll find I’m tender, I’m kind, I’m full of love, life, and hope. They’ll see how silly I can be, that I’m not afraid to act a fool in public, because I’m confident, I know myself. They’ll see I’m funny, wise, not-so-smart about some things, and really smart about other things. They’ll see that I love to have fun; I’m infectious to be around and they want to be a part of my life. They’ll see I’m driven, that I have a purpose, that I have a dream, and that I’m doing EVERYTHING in my power to fucking LIVE LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORRROW!”
“People will see that I’m not afraid to share myself with them, with the world. That I’m giving all my love back to the world, all of myself back to the world. Because of this, they will be inspired to do more, to say more, to love with their entire being. They will see that my life hasn’t been easy, that it’s been hard, that I’ve been through pain, an excruciating amount of pain, that I didn’t think I was going to be able to make it through the pain, that I wanted to die, that I wanted to give up. But I didn’t give up. I had too many great friends who were there for me, letting me cry my heart out, holding my hand, telling me that it was going to be ok, and sometimes even putting me on their backs and carrying me when I was too weak to walk.”
The voice in his head was silent. It didn’t want to interrupt the flow between the two worlds. It wanted him to continue, and he did.
He could feel his soul stirring, could feel his life changing right then and there; he was becoming who he was meant to be. He continued.
“While everything I have just said sounds great, the only way I’ll EVER be able to be the BEST version of myself is if I’m the BEST FATHER that I can be. Someone who continually SHOWS UP for his daughters. Someone who LOVES his daughters unconditionally, loves his daughters unselfishly. A father who isn’t afraid to let his daughters know when he’s sad, when he’s scared, and when he’s hurting. A father that lets his daughters know that even when he feels down and out, that he KNOWS that everything is going to be ok, that it’s ok to have these feelings. A father that always lets his daughters know how amazing they are, how beautiful they are, how smart they are, how his life would never be as great as it is if he didn’t have them in his life. A father who takes his daughters on adventures, who makes holidays special, who makes special occasions EVEN MORE FUCKING SPECIAL. A father who is always there for them, who listens to them, who holds them when they need it, and who lets them go figure it out on their own if that’s what they want. A father who never judges, never condemns, and is ALWAYS there.”
“So, what do you think?” he asked the voice.
“I’m speechless, we’re ALL speechless. We’re proud of you; proud of you for not running away, proud of you for navigating through the pain, for taking responsibility for your experiences and learning from them, growing from them.”
He let the words sink in, let them touch his soul. “Anything you’d like to add?” he asked.
The voice was quiet for a moment, then began and didn’t hold back.
“LIVE YOUR LIFE! Go out and fucking LIVE! It’s going to be over before you know it, and you don’t want to look back and think about all the precious time you’ve wasted. You’ve already wasted so much goddamn time. You’ve taken time for granted, you’ve taken your life for granted, you’ve taken love for granted. DON’T EVER FORGET THIS LESSON! GO OUT AND LIVE YOUR FUCKING HEART OUT! GIVE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BACK TO THE WORLD! Don’t leave ANYTHING behind. LIVE YOUR LIFE. Live it for You, live it for your Daughters, live it for LOVE, live it for the World.”
And he did.