We live in a funny, little world.
John threw on his coat and headed out the door. The morning air was cool on his face and made him feel alive again. He headed down the street, not sure where he was going, all he knew was that he needed to move. He hadn’t been outside for almost three days now, sitting on the couch, listening to the voices in his head. He didn’t know how to turn them off.
A funny, little, fucked up world, indeed. One day you’re on top of it, the next day, it doesn’t exist.
The sun was beginning to peek its head out above the horizon, turning the clouds a beautiful shade of orange, purple and pink. John stared at the brilliant display of colors as he walked, but only felt the chill on his face, nothing inside. How many times had he stared in awe of the sunrise…a hundred…a thousand? Would he ever see the sunrise in that way again?
How could you do this to me? How could you rip everything away from me?
Everything was a blur as he walked, the trees, houses, roads and sidewalks, they all blended together into a greyish fog.
Everything I ever wanted, everything I ever believed in. You took it away from me. EVERYTHING! How could I have ever been so naïve to believe you?
John looked down at the sidewalk, watching his feet move one in front of the other. His mind fell into a trance as he walked, oblivious to his surroundings, oblivious to the girl standing on the sidewalk.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” John said, trying to shake the fog from his head. He gathered himself as he looked into Her beautiful, blue eyes. He had never seen anything like them. It was if he were looking into deep, blue pools of the ocean.
“You said you were willing to do anything to get there,” She said, smiling at John.
“Um…what did you just say?” John replied, looking perplexed.
Suddenly John was startled by a car horn. He turned around and noticed a car running a stop sign at the intersection ahead. Luckily, the other car was paying attention to more than just their phone while driving.
John turned back around to take another dive into Her ocean-blue eyes, but she wasn’t there. What the fuck? John stood there dumbfounded. He did a 360, trying to find where she had gone, but she was nowhere to be seen. Dude, I must be going crazy.
John zipped his coat up a little further and started walking again. His thoughts returned to Her eyes. He couldn’t have imagined her. She was real. Her eyes…they were so comforting and loving. No, he couldn’t have imagined her. But where did she go?
As John continued to walk down the street, he suddenly realized that he was no longer thinking about what had happened just a few days ago, and for that brief moment, he didn’t feel the pain, he didn’t feel the anguish that kept him paralyzed and on the couch for the past three days. A glimmer of hope entered his heart.
He allowed the thought to sit there while he continued walking.