All he wanted to do was flee from this world, to be free from the pain. Reading, working out, playing video games; nothing helped. Not even his writing could help him escape the torment. Everywhere he went, it was there. He knew that only time would heal this pain. How much time, he didn’t know. Only time. But what do you do when time stands still?
Fuck you, Universe!
Deep down, he knew She didn’t deserve to be spoken to in that manner, but when you’re in pain, you don’t give a shit. He knew She was only showing him what he wanted, giving him what he wanted. He told Her that he was willing to give the ultimate sacrifice, to do anything She required of him, but that was conveniently forgotten when She brought him to his knees.
That’s the way the Universe works. She will do whatever you ask of Her. You just have to do your part, but once you’ve begun, She won’t let you back out. It’s easy to say you’ll do anything, but when the time comes for you to deliver, it’s not easy to do; this was his asking, not Hers.
He sat down at his computer, pounding away at the keyboard, trying to escape the pain, trying to find a way to pass the time, to let time do Her work, but it was no use. So, this is how it’s going to be? This is fucking pointless! Fuck time! Fuck space! Fuck these stupid rules! Fuck it all!
His fingers stopped typing. He just sat there, staring at the computer screen, breathing in the silence.
“So, this is what you’re going to do?” said a voice. “Runaway from your pain? Everything you’ve been through throughout your entire life, and you’re going to let this little thing mess with you? How disappointing.”
One might question where the voice was coming from, but he recognized it; it was one of many that occupied his mind. He sat there quietly, letting the words echo around in his head, trying to find comfort in them, but there was none.
“You’ve come this far, and you just want to give up?” asked the voice. You’re so close to achieving everything you’ve been manifesting this entire time, and you’re allowing this to distract you? It’s easy for you to preach about ‘crutches and springboards,’ yet, here you are, wallowing in your ‘perceived’ misery, giving into resistance, squandering all the hard work you’ve put in over the years. Haven’t I taught you anything?” The voice rang loudly in his head, fighting through the noise, searching for its way home.
He sat at his computer, paralyzed, as the other voices took offense of not being heard, not having their say in the matter. One by one, they began getting louder and louder, demanding to be heard. The noise was becoming unbearable as if his eardrums were about to burst. He stood up from his desk and placed his hands over his ears, trying to get the voices to stop.
Suddenly, a loud “slam” boomed throughout the room, quieting his mind completely. He turned around and looked behind him…
“So, what are you going to do?”